Dust

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Dust is everywhere, in my eyes, my nose, my brain and my system. I can’t get rid of it. It blurs my memories, my day chores. My life. They call it the Sahara dust. I’m so far away from the Sahara. How come it travels here? Does it have a special target like me, us?  Maybe there’s a reason. Maybe it’s a lesson to be learned. I wonder what…

I can remember a time when I was happy, but it faded. Did I lose it, or did it lose me? A time when I loved, did I lose it, or did it lose me? Such philosophical questions where there is a myriad of answers. Who is the culprit? Time, personality, belief, behaviour, whatever.

Let’s get real. It’s a game of loss, as though you’re in a casino in Las Vegas. You start winning and wish to continue.  You cannot stop. Then you start losing and you persist because you want to win again, but it doesn’t happen. You didn’t stop at the right time and gathered your winnings. Is that how I failed? Who knows?

Thinking about the quantum range of possibilities, I have no answers. The cat is in the box, or it isn’t. The cat is alive, or it isn’t. All I know is what I’ve lived. Once the cat was alive, now it isn’t. So, shall I weep for the cat, or accept it as a fact of life? Facts of life are difficult. It’s easier to dream.

So, I dream, shaking off the dust. What I lived was real, why can’t I live it again?

Wait, I don’t want to seem so important. The world, the universe doesn’t revolve around me. I’m just a grain of sand being battered around by the forces of nature. But the fact that I’m so insignificant doesn’t make my troubles less important. I care, ache, I matter. I do matter no matter how insignificant I am.

The Scream!

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She’d had enough of composing herself and being in control in her working life and private matters. She walked into the sea and swam far out and stopped. Facing the coastline, she screamed at the top of her voice. It felt good. Thinking of Edvard Munch’s painting, she covered her ears with her hands and screamed more, until her anger subsided. Relieved, she swam back to the beach, in confident stokes until her feet reached the sandy bottom. Wrapped in a towel, she collected her gear and began to walk.

“You gave me fright,” a voice said.

She turned to face him. “It wasn’t me,” she said. “I heard a scream and swam out to rescue, but there was no one there.”

“Really?” he said.

“Yes.”

“Would you like to…”

“Go to bed with me?”

“No, have a drink, I was going to say.”

“Really?” she asked.

“Why not both, in whatever order.”

“I have a cabin beyond the knoll. Let’s see how this works out.”

They had drinks, went to bed, and slept. She was an early riser. Sipping her coffee, she stepped out on the terrace. Watching the sunrise behind the islands in the archipelago, she pondered. ‘Perhaps I could hike up the hills in the winter and scream where no one will hear me.’

“I just read your thoughts,” he said. “I’ll recognise your voice wherever you are.”

The Scream by Edvard Munch, 1893.

The Lady of the Clock Tower

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The Clock Tower at the Dolmabahçe Palace, Istanbul, Turkey

Happy Halloween, everyone! Here’s a ghost story from Ripples on the Pond, my anthology of flash fiction and short stories.

The clock on the rococo tower, overlooking the palace by the sea, struck midnight. The guards at the gates changed shifts as they greeted each other. “Hope you’ll have a peaceful night, Ahmet. She hasn’t been seen for a while.”

“Thanks,” Ahmet said, trying to appear calm. He hated night duty and had believed ghosts only existed in fairy tales until he came to the big city. Conscripted in his early twenties, he had stepped out of his village for the first time. Instead of being sent to fight terrorists in the Southeast, luck dictated his assignment to this idyllic place in Istanbul. Yet, after hearing the stories about the Lady of the Clock Tower, he wished he had been sent elsewhere because the thought of her gave him the creeps. 

Ahmet peeked at the clock tower, to check if she was there. He shuddered when the figure of a woman appeared at the window high above him. Against the darkness, her white robe fluttering in the wind, she looked around as though she was searching for something in the palace grounds. Ahmet blinked and she was gone, but his heart sank when he spied her silhouette, floating among the plants and trees in the garden. 

A chilling breeze swept across his face. His heart pounding in his ears, Ahmet closed his eyes and said his prayers. When he opened them, a beautiful young woman with long dark hair and a magnetic gaze stood before him.

“Soldier,” she said. “I’m Yelda Sultan. I need your help to find my beloved.” 

Ahmet’s jaws locked, his tongue stuck to his gums. He tried to open his mouth, but words failed to come out.

“Don’t be afraid,” she said. “No harm will come to you. My beloved, Ahmet Pasha, was murdered and buried somewhere here. I will not find peace until his body is found and laid to rest in a proper grave.”

“W- -why me?” Ahmet managed to utter.

“Because your name is Ahmet.”

He stared at her, puzzled. “I-I can’t leave my post. I’m on duty.”

“No one will notice. Grab a spade and follow me.”

In a daze, Ahmet staggered towards the gardener’s shed. He picked up a shovel and trailed behind her. She stopped by a bush and ordered, “Dig here.”

He drove the shovel into the soil and dug until she said, “Stop, fill it.”

Throughout that night, she pointed to various places. His back aching, the muscles in his arms burning, he shovelled earth and replaced it when instructed to refill every hole. Exhausted, Ahmet followed her to the next excavation corner. At last, she paused by a towering linden tree. He took a deep breath and resumed his toil until the shovel hit something hard. Ahmet stopped and raised his head. 

She nodded, sadness clouding her face. “This is the place. Be gentle now.”

Using his hands, as if uncovering the veils of time, Ahmet brushed soil away. Fabric ripping beneath his fingers, he touched a shattered bone.

“Infidels! They have buried him in his clothes.” Tears fell from Yelda Sultan’s eyes. “May they burn in hell for this.”

He continued to carefully sweep off the soil and exposed the upper part of the body. In the dim light, he saw a pasha’s jacket, the material rotten and the once bright gold and silver embroidery faded.

Ahmet gazed at what remained of the Pasha and turned to the Sultan.

Weeping, she raised her palms to the sky, and said her prayers. He bowed his head and said his in silence.

“Now fill it up, please, and make it nice and smooth.”

Ahmed did as he was told and waited.

“My great-granddaughter’s name is Arzu Osman. Go to her home. Tell her you had a dream about me and my lost husband. She will understand, she has my last will. Memorize this address and do it as soon as possible. I’m grateful to you, soldier. Go with God.”

A cool breeze swept across his face, and she disappeared. His eyes drifted to the night sky, studded with stars around a crescent moon. He saw a translucent white beam rising to the heavens. Tired and confused, Ahmet returned to the sentry box, as the clock struck five. Two more hours on duty and he’d be free. He gazed at the windows of the tower. Nothing but darkness.

On his day off, with the address etched in his mind, he took the bus to a part of the city he had never visited. A district of fine houses with big gardens. A servant answered the door.

“I’m here to see Arzu Osman.”

“Who are you?”

“I have a message for her from her grandmother.”

“Wait here, please.”

The maid returned and took him to a large room, decorated with objects the like of which he had not seen in his life.

A middle-aged lady with dark hair stepped inside the chamber and smiled. “Hi, I’m Arzu.” 

“I’m Ahmet. You have the same eyes as your great-grandmother.”

“Are you a psychic?”

“What does that mean? I had a dream and she asked me to deliver you a message.”

“Please sit down and tell me.”

“I am a guard at the Dolmabahçe Palace. Many said they had seen your grandmother, though I did not, at least not until two nights ago.” Ahmet paused, searching Arzu’s face. 

She nodded.

“She- she bade me follow her. At her instruction, I laboured throughout the night to discover where her husband lay. After so many years of searching for her beloved, she found him, and told me to come to you and say I had a dream about her.”

He looked into her eyes. “Do you believe me?”

Arzu clenched her hands and bit her lip, studying his face. “Can you show me the place?” 

“I’ll take you there.” 

She drove him to the palace and parked the car. They strolled through the grounds until he stopped by the linden tree and pointed to the spot.

“Do you have a cell phone?”

“I’ve never owned one.”

“Can I reach you at the barracks?”

He gave her the number. On his next day off, she met him at the tea garden in the palace grounds and gave him a mobile phone.

“I’m working on getting the permit to exhume the body.”

Two months later, the authorities dug up the spot under the tree and retrieved the Pasha’s remains. 

Arzu called Ahmet. “Come to my house on your day off.” 

She met him at the door and took him to the lounge.

“Thank you, Ahmet. We buried great-grandpa next to great-grandma. They can now rest in peace. She has something for you.” She handed him a small pouch.

He opened it and stared at the gold coins inside. Bewildered, Ahmet raised his eyes and faced Arzu. 

“They’re antique Ottoman coins,” she said. “Very valuable. More than a century ago, she decreed whoever found her husband would be rewarded. You now hold it in your palm.”

Many thanks for reading! 🙂

“Halloween Party” by Philip Guston (USA), 1942.

Strawberry Moon

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I woke up early this morning to a beautiful full moon. I didn’t realize it was the Strawberry Moon, until I read later in the newspaper. An article in the BBC Science Focus says, “Sadly, there’s no eclipse this month, so the Moon won’t be red. However, for much of the northern hemisphere, June is the month when strawberries begin to ripen – June to September being ‘strawberry season’.”

Well, the full moon was a majestic golden globe, shimmering in the early morning sky. This reminded me of my flash fiction story, Strawberry Moon, from Ripples on the Pond. I’m also including some of my photos from from 2019 when the Strawberry Moon was on 17-18, June, probably because the Lunar Calendar goes backwards.

Sorry for being away for a while, but I’m back.

Thank you for reading. 🙂

Strawberry Moon, 17-18 June, 2019, Marmaris

Strawberry Moon

It’s strawberry picking time. As the longest day flows into the evening and the sunset paints the sky with strokes of peach and apricot hues, we settle into our viewing spot on top of the hill. Munching on berries, washed down with wine, we wait for the full moon to appear on the eve of the solstice. A rare, natural combination, some say last took place on the Summer of Love in 1967.

You and I were so young then. We did not know what the future held for us. Our dreams inspired by California Dreaming, the floral prints on my dress and your shirt matched the flowers in our long hair. We wanted peace in the world. It didn’t happen, did it? Still, we had love and peace in our home, so I can’t complain.

Our work is done now, we are retired. It’s time for our children to bring up theirs. Their lives are tougher than ours. The world is in a state of chaos. The flower children have become senior citizens, with disillusionment in their eyes. Yet, when I look into yours, I still see the same sparkle that hasn’t faded over the years. You never give up, do you? Your optimism is infectious, despite the sinister illness that threatens to steal you from me. I’m done with protesting and denial. After the struggle to hold back tears and anger, acceptance arrived and sorrow moved into the background. To enjoy you and the last of our days, my only wish now, I don’t want to distress you with my grief.

A honey-coloured moon rises from behind the island. I hold your hand, not knowing whether we’ll see another summer solstice together again. I hope to, but- Threads of shimmering beams sketch a spiral avenue of light on the water. It widens as the orange sphere ascends the sky. This must be the road to enlightenment you talk about. You have taught me to look at things from a different perspective.

The golden colour of the moon turns to white as it moves higher. A pleasure boat crosses the bay, melodies and laughter lingering in its wake. Is this what life is about, leaving traces of our existence behind, only to be remembered by those we love?

Love, you say, is precious and rare. Some don’t know how to nurture it. We have managed to cherish ours, despite the challenges of married life.

It’s time to go home now, my love. You need to rest and build up strength. I will not think of tomorrow. Being in the moment keeps me going. I won’t dwell on what I’ll do or how I’ll cope without you. I’ll deal with that when the time comes.

You give me that smile again, the one that warms my heart. You’ve read my thoughts and you say, “We should come back here, on the next full moon.”

I release the brake of the wheelchair and turn it around. I push it gently down the path. One moment at a time.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Gustav Klimt, The Kiss

May your heart be filled with love, today and always, whether it’s for a partner, a child, or a pet. Love makes us human.

Here are links to some love stories:

Thank you very much for reading! 🙂

Mother and Child – Xi Pan Contemporary Chinese Artist – Born in Wenzhou

Hendrik Maarten Krabbé Dutch artist 1868 -1931 A Saucer of Milk for the Cat

A Gift to Remember, a Christmas Story

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Season’s Greetings and all things nice to you and yours. May the New Year bring you much health, prosperity, and joy. 😍

A Gift to Remember

The icy northern wind blowing down the avenue chilled Sara to the bone despite her warm gear. She felt naked, vulnerable, and foolish in a futile attempt to buy presents people didn’t need. Her gloved hand searched in her coat pocket. She skimmed through the list and pondered.

Music from the shopping mall poured into the street decorated with vibrant festive lights that pulsated in tune with the melody. A lavish extravaganza to entice the shoppers to join the euphoria of a consumer’s paradise where happiness was bartered with goods sold and purchased. Shop windows decorated in a kaleidoscope of colours, gold and silver tinsel, depicting fairy tale scenes of a jovial and prosperous life.

Sara knew the festive period and the enchanted fantasy it created was fake, commercial and absurd, yet the knowledge didn’t stop her enjoyment of it. She sat on bench and watched people rushing in and out of the mall, laden with shopping bags in the colours of the rainbow.

She crumpled the list in her fist and dumped it into a trash can.

Moving away from the sound and light show, she turned into a side street and strolled aimlessly down the lane of ordinary life. Parked cars by the curbs, two cats lingering by a garbage container, doors opening and closing, and the click-clack of footsteps as people went into and out of residential blocks. In ground floor flats, a hand pulled a curtain, another opened a window behind which muffled conversation stole into the night.

At the end of the road, she turned right, and spotted the lit sign of a pub in the distance. A voice singing a song from the past evoked memories. Lend your love to me tonight. Lend, not give. Thoughts filled her mind. 

She approached the crowd gathered around the performer in shabby clothes. He looked like a homeless man, but sang and played the guitar like a professional. Greasy blond hair ran down his shoulders, his hands in fingerless gloves glided along the strings of the instrument. Eyes closed, he sang to the beat of the background music generating from a busking amp. Nearby customers, some sitting at the outdoor tables, applauded him when he finished singing. He opened his steel-blue eyes and bowed, as notes and coins filled his tin cup, and began the next song. 

Sara stepped inside the Pub and bought some mulled wine. She found an empty seat under the outdoor heater and listened to the music while sipping her warm drink. When the singer announced an intermission, she placed a twenty pound note in his cup and said, “I enjoyed your music. You’re very talented. Can I offer you some mulled wine?” 

“Thanks.” He looked up into her eyes. “It’s my farewell gift to Greg Lake. He died yesterday.”

“I know, so sad. I’ll be back shortly.” 

She returned with two mugs of the spicy drink and offered one to him. 

He took her offering and fumbled inside the pockets of his oversized long coat. Fishing out a crumpled pack of cigarettes, he held it to her. She reached for one. He lit it, inhaled a deep drag from his, and exhaled. Cigarette smoke mixed with the steam from the hot drink as they sat across the table behind the clouds of vapour.

“Did you study music?” she asked

“Yeah, I used to be a professional.”

“No more?”

He pushed his long locks over his shoulder and pulled up the collar of his coat. “I walked away from that life,” he smiled. “Too intense. Now I play whenever and wherever I want to.”

“Do you have a warm place to go to?”

“The Shelter provides us accommodation and food.”

“Which shelter is that?”

“The Shelter from the Storm. It’s a private charity, very well run by volunteers, mostly students.”

“I’m Sara, by the way. Will you be here tomorrow?”

“Cheers, Sara, I’m Busker. The Landlord allows me to play until ten, and gives me a drink and a warm meal. I think I’ll hang around here for a couple more nights.”

“What do you do with the money?”

His eyes searched her face. “I save some for cigarettes and drinks, give the rest to the Shelter as my contribution.”

He finished his drink, thanked her and resumed his concert. Sara stayed for while, then waved him goodbye, and left the Pub. Contemplating on Busker’s words, she headed for the Underground.

The following day, after looking up the charity on her computer, Sara made a phone call. “I’d like to make a donation.” She took their bank details and transferred her gift from her account to that of the Shelter from the Storm.

Sara called her friend, Anna. “Fancy going to a free concert tonight? The music is great.”

“Why not?”

“Meet me in front of Rainbow Mall at seven. I’ll take you there.”

Sara and Anna sat outside the pub, sipping mulled wine and listening to Busker’s music. As though attending a concert, Anna’s eyes were glued to the performer. When he gave a break and stepped inside the bar, Anna turned to Sara. “He’s amazing, so talented. Such a shame. What makes people homeless? How do they decide to live in the streets?”

“I have no idea. There must be a good reason, perhaps a tragedy or a disillusionment that severs their ties with the ‘normal’ world.”

“I guess. Hard to understand, but it must come from the depths of the human psyche. A protest against, a separation from the norm.”

“Whatever. This morning, I transferred the entire amount of my gifts budget to a charity organization that takes care of homeless people.”

Eyes wide-open, Anna snapped her fingers. “Seriously? What a grand idea! I think I should do the same.”

They chuckled as Busker returned to his makeshift stage and resumed his free concert to the growing audience.

Thank you very much for reading. 🙂

My Flash Fiction Story, Elsewhere, is at the Ekphrastic Review

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Time-Molt, Tender, by Annaliese Jakimides (USA) 2022

I’m honoured to have my flash fiction story, Elsewhere, at the Ekphrastic Review, along with many talented writers and poets. Many thanks to Annaliese Jakimides for her inspiring painting as the ekphrastic challenge and to Lorette C. Luzajic for her wonderful literary magazine.

Here’s the link:

https://www.ekphrastic.net/the-ekphrastic-challenges/ekphrastic-writing-responses-annaliese-jakimides?fbclid=IwAR1OQcHYxWX_WnCLWxjQllMNBLdFeetmSzcBDNYfvqM5OK26jNVA1pdNf4s

Thank you very much for reading. 🙂

My Flash Fiction Story, Désirée, is at the Subject and Verb Agreement Press Blog Spot

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Many thanks to the Editor-In-Chief, Jesse Rucilez, my flash fiction story Désirée is at the Subject and Verb Agreement Press Blog Spot.

Here’s the link to the story:

https://savapress.blogspot.com/2022/10/desiree-by-sebnem-sanders.html?fbclid=IwAR3YIHpk6XYdj3_L6O_Ym3l8ZW1Sxj6JYErUG_kd2PIIQ1r9VgXCRzv5fck

Many thanks for reading. 🙂

My flash fiction story, Interstellar, is at the Ekphrastic Review

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Nature’s Way, by Jo Zider (USA) contemporary.

So happy to see my flash fiction story, Interstellar, included besides many talented poets and writers, for the inspiring Ekphrastic Challenge, Nature’s Way by Jo Zider. Many thanks to the editor, Sandi Stromberg and to Lorette C. Luzajic 😍

https://www.ekphrastic.net/the-ekphrastic-challenges/jo-zider-ekphrastic-challenge-responses

Many thanks for reading. 🙂